Saturday, 25 August 2012

Bank Holiday Weekend

Well apart from Christmas this is the last bank holiday of the year!

I have seen the Dr again and I am going back to work on Tuesday, 4 hours a day for the first week and then 5 the next then we see how it's going and it will be full steam ahead.
I have been to the South Coast with Dennis whilst I have been off and although I have spent most of the day on my own ( he has to work!!) I have had a good time. The sea calls to me and I always feel calmer when I am there. The first time I went was quite hard as Eastbourne was always Mum and Dad's holiday place but in another way it was comforting and helped me to put things into perspective.
I went to a couple of National Trust places, mooched round the shops, ate chips!! I also was invited to go out to eat with the guys that Dennis had his meetings with. Me and 10 men can't complain!

This week was a bit different as Dennis had a meeting in Eastbourne on Tuesday so I drove to Rye and walked to the sea via the reclaimation area they have reclaimed some of the salt marshes and it will be a bird sanctuary. We spent the night in a different hotel near Arundel as the new project is in Littlehampton. I spent Wednesday wandering round the town. I decided to have pie and chips for lunch and queued for almost 30 minutes at a really busy place. The chips were OK but the pie was disgusting and went into the bin. I sat on the front it was very windy and the sand was whipping round my legs. I went for a paddle must have looked a right sight bit like a bag lady with my carrier bag ( posh one though Waitrose bag for life!) I drove back to site and parked on the road to wait for Dennis I got comfy and was reading my kindle when the whole meeting appeared and walked past me round the perimeter Dennis did acknowledge me though! He was another hour but I am always happy to read.
We set off for home and as the M1 was closed we decided to drive up A1. I called Mark and we popped in for coffee it was so nice to see him and Jo. We got home about 10.30pm.
On Thursday I took Tanya and the children to Eureka in Halifax. It was good but lunch was expensive a bottle of coke was £1.70! Rip off.

Friday was quite relaxed I sorted out Dennis' wardrobe to try and make some more space.
This morning we went shopping and this afternoon we have watched the Challenge Cup Final which Warrington won and also the final of the 20 over cricket.
We have also started to plan out holiday to USA we are going to Chicago stopping with Bill and Linda going to the final day of the Ryder Cup then flying down to Washington for 5 days then getting a train to New York for 6 days I am so so excited.
Tomorrow we are going to Skegness to see Aunty Dorrie, she has had 2 chemo sessions for Non Hodgkins Lymphona does it never end??

Thursday, 9 August 2012

Oh how quickly life can change. Dad had 3 months of chemo and managed really well. He then had another scan and we went to see the Dr for the results on 18th June. It hadn't worked and the tumours in his liver had doubled in size. He wasn't really himself and I got a phone call on the Tuesday at work from Sheila to say he had fallen and was a bit disoriented I rang the Dr and drove up to his house. The Dr came and decided he had a urine unfection. I stopped that night and nursed him through he then fell again on the Wednesday. Peter and Gel arrived and I went home. Peter called me Thursday to say he had been admitted to hospital as he had banged his back and was in a lot of pain. He spent the next week in hospital. I went to York with the girls for the retreat but most afternoons I drove to Harrogate Hospital to see him. He was very up and down. Mark & Jo visited on Saturday as they were flying to Spain the following weekend. Nicholas and Lesley visited on the way back from a wedding in the lakes.  He was discharged on the Thursday after I had sat with him from 1.50pm until 5.20pm. We left the house in Claxton Friday morning and I went straight to his house. Sheila and Catherine arrived and Dad came downstairs and spent a couple of hours chatting with Sheila whilst Catherine Peter and I went for a walk round the village. We bought them an ice cream back, Dad said it was very refreshing on his tongue as the thrush he had was very sore.
I planned to visit again on Sunday, Nicholas and Lesley arrived and cooked  Peter tea. Dad was in bed but ok. Just after 9 am on Sunday 1st July I got a call from Peter ( Gel had gone home as she had a stinking cold) Dad was in a great deal of pain and he had called the Dr. Dennis & I arrived about 10.30am the locum Dr arrived and was very good, Dad was put on a morphine driver to try and control his pain. Dennis and I went home and I then drove back up to stay. Dad deterioratedvery quickly and the district nurses came several times a day. He was in a bad way. Nicholas and Lesley were wonderful they stayed up all night with Dad so Peter and I could sleep. They then slept during the morning.
Just before 12 midday on 6th July the grandfather clock stopped. I had already thought to myself it will be today. He was born on 6th April , Mum had died on 6th August and sadly at 4.57pm my precious Dad slipped away.
I had just got ready to go to LGI to sing with Inspiration at the Bexley Wing ironically the liver cancer wing! We were all in the room when he went. I knew I had to go to the concert and sing for my Dad.
I just about managed, although Penny singing You'll Never Walk Alone was nearly my undoing. I stood with tears streaming down my face,  Karen stood just behind me and had her hand on my shoulder throughout the concert. She was my rock. I sang for my Dad and I know he would have been so proud of me.
The next 2 weeks were a bit of a blur the funeral was 19th July ( my Grandpa's birthday) we had a family and close friends service at the Crematorium and 1 tomato ripened so that went on his coffin.
We then had a service of thanksgiving at the local church. Martin ( my ex) read the eulogy . We repaired to the Lamb and Flag then back to the house. We had a few eats and a few drinks.  Dennis went home as he had a busy day on Friday.
Friday was tough we basically cleared the house and boxed everything up. No major arguments but a few dodgy moments. I went home on Saturday and the Peter and Gel left on Sunday.
We have had a rough few weeks. I have been signed off work for a few weeks and need to learn to live without Dad. Still doesn't seem real I am sure I will manage to get back into the swing of things I need to be a bit more positive about the future. We are planning a holiday soon so that is the way forward.
Last picture of Dad at Fountains Abbey June 5th 2012.